Chrysalis Time

Chrysalis Time is a time of transformation. It’s the process of letting yourself go all gooey and insubstantial, the process of letting go of the things you have known about yourself. It’s a time to say, “I don’t know” and “I used to, but maybe not” and “let’s see”. In chrysalis time, our work consists of an openness to examine truth – and explore. It is not a time to say, “I will be THIS” and climb towards it – the caterpillar knows nothing of the future, it allows the change and explores it. Where once it crawled, now it soars. Total transformation.

I had a dream… a dream of opening my closet and finding it empty, with two half-dissolved shirts hanging. I looked down at myself, and the shirt I was wearing was frayed – worn past use. There are things in my life that are disintegrating, dissolving, leaving me… and there are other things, well-beloved patterns of being, that have been used up and need replacing.

In this chrysalis time, I let go of what was behind. Now I am curious to make new.

For the disciplined mind, it is a temptation to say, “I am leaving Brighton and am on the train to Wales. When I arrive, I will need a raincoat and a suitcase. I shall prepare”. Chrysalis time is not about changing your surroundings. It is about changing yourself. The caterpillar and the butterfly occupy the same garden (although the butterfly can leave), but they do not occupy the same experience. There is no “prepare” – there is, “is this fluttery thing on my back a wing? “

I am a disciplined person. But long buried, in the core of my being, I am a fearless, curious, adventurer. I am an artist. I have deep faith. I am kind. I love. These are true things. The core of my being. My DNA.

Transformation calls for me to allow other things, temporary things, half-true things, to dissolve away. It calls for me to explore. To make mistakes, to make discoveries, to be interested and without fear.

Let the change happen, and trust the Maker that a butterfly will emerge.

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