Woman is the why for man, Man is the what for woman. In some social structures, this balance is seen within marriage, in others “woman” is family/mother/society and “father” is authority/order/god. In the Modern West, we see this primarily in the marriage relationship. What remains is that balance, the innate nature of each sex. We are one together. This dissolves when we do not give ourselves to each other fully, when we do not stand confident within our own natures, and how we were created.
How is man the “what” for woman? Man offers direction and focus. It was my dad who said sadly, of a great woman artist, “but most female artists are only dilettantes”. WHY? Why are we skilled in a multitude of disciplines, but mistresses of few? Because life requires constant shifting for woman. Starting, stopping, taking up a task and putting it down, art or craft in stolen moments or a few restful hours at the end of a busy day.
If we value androgyny and freedom, this is a tragedy. If we are to value femininity, womanliness, we must see it as a triumph. Yes, Man’s arrow of purpose shoots far and fast – but I have a net. I have the opportunity to give myself to many things over the course of a lifetime, give myself to many people. I have the opportunity to tie those people, those purposes, together. My influence is cast around me like seeds. My words, my touch, my heart … they are valuable to many.
There are seasons in Woman’s life – seasons of inner time, where the net is small and intimate, seasons of outer time, where the net is cast wide. We, far more than our brothers and husbands, dance our days to the tune of proper timing. When we try to escape time’s rhythms, we slip away from our calling.
The net can become chaos without direction. Good intentions reproduce exponentially, far past Woman’s ability to pursue them. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” speaks of their tendency to reproduce past wisdom. We exhaust ourselves, we push each other, we burn ourselves out – without the balancing direction, focus of Man. A good man shows us the way, hears our dreams and helps us say “no” to folly and the pressures of the world – and each other. He holds our nets down lest they become sails, to sail us away from all that is good and true.
Man’s why is woman. Why does Man choose to do the hard work instead of play? Woman. Why does he moderate his urges, whether that urge is to give himself up to the arrow of progress and passion or the dissipation of laziness? Woman. I cannot speak to the poetry of Man with Woman, not being a man – but I can point you to endless statistics, speaking the truth that Man without Woman dies sooner, is lonelier, takes less care of himself. Our softness inspires them, our creative nets motivates them to provide.
Cry all you want about the unfairness, the ways we are made differently, the myriad misunderstandings and bumpings up of priorities and modes of thought – they will not go away. We are made man and woman, and we are made different. We are made to dance together, work together, live together, and create together in synergy. The beauty of this dance is most apparent when Man and Woman stand, each in their proper nature and smile at each other.
Man and Woman are beautiful as we are created.