Working with your husband’s preferences

I was out to dinner with my husband last night after spending the day stuffing Christmas cards.   I remarked to him on my being still covered with glitter, and he responded that he had just been about to compliment me on it!  I blinked, and was told that he liked the dsc05077youthful whimsy attendant in a bit of sparkle, but no credit ’cause it came from stuffing cards.  -laughs-

I’ll be 44 on my next birthday, and as far as I was concerned, as far as the rules are concerned, my glitter days are long past.  (Or long future – women past a certain age are allowed quite a lot of whimsy).

But my husband likes it…. he likes a lot of things that I think I’m too old or too fat  to wear.

I know that I’m not the only woman in the world who has had this discussion.  So, what do you do when your husband likes something that is outside of your normal style?

  1. Wear it when you’re together!  This is much of the point of having a date night – the play attendant in getting gussied up for your spouse is a beautiful thing.  When you dress in a way that pleases your husband, you’re offering your respect to him.   Not only that, it helps you get outside of your comfort zone.  Maybe you honestly do look nice in …. and you’re just being hard on yourself.   Allow your husband’s desire to give you courage.
  2. See if you can figure out how to integrate his preferences into your normal style.  Is it a color he loves – or loathes?  A way he likes you to wear your hair?  If you can merge that with your own style, you’ll both be happier.  (Who doesn’t like a little admiration from the man she loves?)  Take some thought and add a few touches here and there.

Part of who we are, if we’re married women, is our position as wives.  When we inhabit that reality, we honor ourselves and our decision to marry, and we honor our husbands.  When we choose to say with our bodies that we have someone who is pleased to see us in a certain light, and that we hold that person in high enough regard to please them, we say something powerful about our characters.    We say that we are caring women, women who are capable of giving respect and honor, women who are capable of giving new ideas a chance.

And sometimes… we say that we’d been waiting for an excuse to wear a little glitter…. 🙂


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