To Communicate, You Must Live

In order to communicate the truth of who you are, you must know who you are.  My book will give you some help in that direction, but there is much more to be explored.  Furthermore, if you’re not living the truth, you’re not going to manifest that truth in your outer appearance.

A base assumption of every part of my existence is CHANGE THE INSIDE FIRST.   (Yes, changing the outside can help support the inside changes – like staking a young tree so it grows right – but if you’re not going to make the inside changes, don’t bother).

I talk, in my book, about using Pinterest to pick up images that speak to you, images that tell you about the person inside.   I used this tool myself to adjust the story I was writing about myself.   I think it’s all too easy to drift off track, off of what’s real, into what you think other people think you should be, who you are.   That’s why you need to take your time and pin from the heart.

This is my personal board (the professional pinterest site doesn’t take you here).  If you look at the women in these pictures, you see a woman who is related to nature very closely in at least 2/3 of them.   If you look at my pinboards generally (again, the personal boards), you’ll see that there is a commonality to my taste for myself.  Natural, flowing, beautiful, organic – not structured.

But do I live this?  And if I don’t, how can I change my life so that I’m living the truth of my heart?

That’s something I’m working on in my own life, and it’s my question to you today.


Distortion: A personal post

On a more personal note… sometimes one looks in the mirror, and what one sees is not what one sees in one’s head.   And this distortion isn’t made of fabric or hair – it’s made of flesh.

I don’t simply mean what Heinlein had one of his characters say about the Rodin sculpture (https://vanemden.com/books/heaulmiere.html), because aging and accident are truth, and the discerning eye can see past them into the heart.   Here I am referring to the results of neglect and a lack of self-maintenance.

Although I have an artist’s eye to draw out the beauty within my clients, and nothing gives me greater joy, I realized that I am doing my clients a disservice by not working with the woman in the mirror, and moreso, that the woman in the mirror did not mesh with the woman in my head.

How can I urge you to submit to makeover if I won’t do the same?

And so, likewise this time of quiet is a time where  I am making myself over… starting from the ground up.  Because this body in the mirror, the raw materials that I am working with, I’ve let it take the brunt of the hard times, the tired times – and I haven’t given any attention to recapturing health after the storms passed.   When I look in the mirror, I don’t see me.

My spirit is not reflected in my flesh.  What you see is a record of what has gone before – and yes, that’s truth in its way.  But it doesn’t reflect who I am today.

There’s a hard truth.

Another hard truth is that it takes work and commitment to get the outsides to match the insides.   You can re-do your wardrobe in a day, you can submit to a makeover in a weekend – but clearing the mess of years?  That’s not fast work.

So.  I’m working on my outsides right now.  The Truth *will* out.


Truth in advertising

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

(Shakespeare, Hamlet)

If my dear readers have been wondering, this season has been filled with lots of observation, lots of thinking, and lots of redirecting.   Thus, less writing.

What has not changed is my commitment to communicating Self through our outer shells.  If anything, that commitment has become stronger.

There are so many reasons that we don’t want to show the truth of who we are… from protective camouflage to unhappiness with ourselves to simple ignorance.   And Self changes, evolves, refines.  Who we were twenty  years ago isn’t who we are today. Sometimes it can be a wrench to say, “this item doesn’t suit me” and give it up.

But real beauty can’t be found away from truth.  The viewer will always be left with a note of discord, a feeling that something does not quite match.

That’s not to say that one has to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve.  One presentation of Self couldn’t possibly convey all there is about me, or about you, even if we wanted it to.  You can keep as many secrets as you like – but whatever you *do* say, that should be truthful.

This world is filled with lies.  It’s filled with people copying other people.  Stand out from the crowd – be yourself.  And dress like it.